Dating settling for less - thanks
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Are You Settling for Less? Why?? // Amy Young dating settling for lessBy Terry Gaspard for DivorcedMoms. Or your fear of being alone and feeling unlovable is unbearable. Maybe he or she is gorgeous and treats you well but something is missing.
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Perhaps your family or friends have convinced you to hang in there or try harder. You may even know intellectually that nobody should have to settle for less datimg they deserve but your emotions are conflicted. Perhaps some of your friends have been single for a while and they complain about how hard it is to meet a nice man dating settling for less woman. Underneath all of these rationalizations is a deep seated fear of being alone. New research conducted by Stephanie S. Spielman demonstrates that fear of being single is a meaningful predictor of settling for less in relationships.
In her groundbreaking study, Spielman discovered that the fear of being single predicts settling for less in romantic relationships.
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Being fearful of being alone was also associated with being less selective of a potential partner at speed-dating events. But what is the source of your fear of being single? Although the answer varies from person to person, one factor that causes someone to settle dating settling for less past experiences of romantic rejection and another is fear of prolonged singlehood. Of all the difficult experiences that individuals face in life, being alone can be among the hardest.
It seems like everything you see in movies and TV and on the internet is about how to find the right partner and make it work. But very few people know how to be alone and do it well.
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They fear it and seek love wherever they go. Too often the pleasure they find in falling in love is the sweet release of no longer being by themselves in the world. Single women may be reluctant to acknowledge the challenges of being alone for fear of being seen as desperate or needy. According to author Sara Eckel, many of the stereotypes we have about single women are misleading. It is simply a life -— a life with responsibilities and rewards, good days and bad ones, successes and failures.
This can take time and a commitment to loving and respecting yourself. However simplistic this may seem, self-love and self-respect are the basis of loving another person. It could take time and perhaps the help of a skilled therapist or relationship coach to figure things out.
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In the meantime, remind yourself that you are worth the effort and deserve to be loved. Follow Terry Gaspard on TwitterFacebookand movingpastdivorce. More From DivorcedMoms. Keep in touch! News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Follow Us. Here are some signs that you are settling for less than you deserve in your relationship:. You feel you have to change yourself -— your values, goals, or dreams -- for dating settling for less partner to accept you. You are in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship. You sacrifice too much.]
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